We were walking in silence through the night and I never felt more empty. He didn’t want to talk and I had chaos in my head. I was walked to the front door of my house and left alone with words that didn’t mean anything. So I stood there looking at him walking away and I had tears in my eyes. No-one could see them because it started to rain the moment he was gone. Even nature felt sad about us. Or just about me.
I sat down crying in the corner of my room. Again in my life I hid in the darkness. It was a place I knew way too good. I waited for him to call. To write. And I could wait forever for the things that never came.
I am broken inside and out of my mind. It is hard to love me, I know. But I’ve thought he would fight for me like he said. Like he’s promised. His words were beautiful, but those were only words that did not mean a thing. I see it now. I’m waiting for the one who’ll get me out of here. Someone who’ll light my darkness one day. Instead here I am recreating all the happy life I’d have.