I should have reacted somehow. Everyone else would be disgusted. What I’ve heard is outrageous for most of society. But I sit here listening carefully without any emotion felt or showed.
The bartender laughed artificially at the joke he’s heard while filling the growler with light yellow, bubble liquid. People are talking on a patio, at least they are trying to make human noises. Someone passed our table going upstairs. The wall has helped him with the climb. The Leather Man is playing on his phone. The Life is happening there while here the clock has stopped for a while.
I’ve realized it is my turn to speak. I’ve looked into her brown eyes half covered by hair. I could see her struggle. At one point she’s in love and happy. On the other hand she’s ashamed by what had she done and is prepared to hear some terrible words which would never come from me.
Hardly anything can shock me nowadays. I haven’t seen anything I could hate her for but she has. While she is having her inner fight with herself, I’m thinking it hasn’t been such a big deal. It happened, she liked it, the end. But in contrary to me, she has a moral soul and now is when she needs me to end her battle.
I’ve started talking.
The secret’s out! is a short story about two girl friends sitting in a bar and talking. One has a secret she struggles with while the other is a listener. It tells the story that sometimes the secret we have is not a big deal to our friend while for us it might be some sort of a thing we can’t stop thinking about. We can’t stop the feeling that it is a some sort of an abashment or a moral dilemma. That’s why we share it with a friend to hear some other words of explanation and consolation.
Is there something worth fighting for? Is there something worth dying for? Is there anything at all? I hate the stars they remind me of my dreams. I hate the feeling I just cannot kill. I hate the chains I’m in. I hate the lie I keep telling myself. Was it worth when I started?…
The goodbye like in the movies.
We were walking in silence through the night and I never felt more empty. He didn’t want to talk and I had chaos in my head. I was walked to the front door of my house and left alone with words that didn’t mean anything. So I stood there looking at him walking away and…