My first week at work || Thoughts

One week has gone so fast and I am very, very happy that it is Friday already. You may ask why? Oh well, it was my first week at work and I am so tired. Today I want to share with you some of my thoughts I have about the last five days.

The first day was the worst. I had to get up at 6.30am and be in the office at 8.15am (one exception because I was the new one). The manager introduced me to everyone and I remembered none. This stressed me out because I know myself and I know I will not ask anyone for a name. Another thing that scared me a bit was working space. Open room with desks for 19 people, or so. I don’t mind working with people and being around them, but sometimes I’d rather be somewhere not so crowded.

After few talks, I was given a chair and a place next to the woman who became my teacher for some time. She showed me a lot of things and I was grateful for „print screens”. I hardly got alive to 4pm. The only thing that happened to me that day was a terrible headache. When I got home I didn’t want to go to work again. The rest of the day went by so fast, and I mean really, really fast. I wanted to cry when I was going to bed.

Day after day it is getting better and better. However, today I had a feeling like I don’t get anything at all. My getting up from the bed is becoming easier with every single day. And I am proud to say that I was always at 8am at the office.

My feelings are changing all the time. One time I feel good and confident, the other time (within 30 minutes) I want to give up and I feel very stupid. I am a bit scared of the time when I will have to start working on my own. I know that there will be people that I can ask for help, but I always feel so stupid and ashamed that I have to ask for something.

I try to repeat myself that I am someone new and every single person was where I am now. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I try to be positive and think that everything will be good. But even now, at the beginning of the weekend, I am stressed out that maybe I have made a mistake today when sending invoices. Although, I checked them three times.

At one point I am happy for some free time, on the other side, I am a little freaking out before Monday. Anyway, I am pretty happy for some routine in my life and a little motivation to do something with it.

What are your thoughts or feelings from the first few days at work? Or what are you thinking about being new at work?